Questioning why seems more important than when or how, although the what and the who is interesting, too. 

The questions are always more important than the answers. — Randy Pausch

Now I know why I was created. – the Ba’al Shem Tov

I believe the most important work I can do in relation to my own growth is the work I do alone. Then there comes another question “what does the world want from me, rather than what do I want?” Not being totally self-less or selfish, I believe there needs to be a balance. My initial identity began in my family of origin. But what about who we become? Behind the scenes. Under the hood. It’s the blacksmith’s shop, the smithy, where I believe we forge and hammer out our own individuality.

Focusing on activities that continue to form my individuality, my priorities have tended to shift back to what matters most; family, healthy relationships, and living by the values I hold close. Who are we? Why are we here? The “why” intrigues me as does the “who” these days. I believe the why-What Heals You, can be a fundamental first question.

The Who

I am a work in progress.  I am at times my own best friend and at times my own worst enemy. Some days I believe I have my stuff together, and at other times, the best descriptor would be: a hot mess.

My days begin early, I drink too much coffee, and while I am thankful for every new day, sometimes, I am just tired. I think a lot. Probably too much. My brain never really shuts off. I would say: restless. Thus, the pursuit that leads to the tired. Although, my once-a-week ritual rest seems to work wonders.

Quirky, a bit random —a glitter ball, rarely a laser beam, and a tad bit crazy at times. 

I am learning to talk about my trials and tribulations, my confessions as I call them, and getting more comfortable writing about them. I can be a bit outspoken, I am learning to be more mellow, and still…at times, without a filter, blunt, and with a tendency to speak my mind. Recognizing my tendency to offer unsolicited advice, along with an occasional lecture, I am working on remaining silent. Easier said than done.

My mission: refusing to break regardless of what life throws at me. 

I like to make people think.

I believe real life can be: stranger than fiction, simple but not easy, inspiring, and filled with lessons. 

My favorite question: are you doing the things you need to be doing in order to get what you want out of life. My favorite resolve to the question up to this point: if you are not, do something different. It’s not guaranteed to be better, just different. 

The “all-important” why

The answer differs for everyone. It can be intensely personal. I love the saying, man plans, and God laughs, or sometimes, maybe cries. When I read the quote by the Ba’al Shem Tov, I thought about my mom. My mom passed away sixteen years ago. Betty Jean Appel Sutkin Kessler z’l. She was preceded in death by her husband, Mort Kessler, who died of lung cancer. She was 73 years young. What might she have been thinking about and why? I will never know. The difference a friend once told me about “dying” is that there is sad and there is tragic. In the latter case, “why?” is really a question, isn’t it? 

I’m not sure what to think about the revelation the Ba’al Shem Tov received. And, that he believes his “Why?” was answered at all. Perhaps that actually might bring some comfort. As R. Laur said, maybe it’s not futile after all. Maybe meaning triumphs. Maybe we get let in on the cosmic joke at the end. Maybe we look back on our lifepath, connect the dots, and finally understand. Maybe, as Rumi says, our lips close with a whimper HERE and open with a shout THERE!

Why, why, why? Like a carving knife, a good question can carve out new answers every day. Ultimately, it is not about the answer. It is about those questions that take us to another place, a better, deeper, fuller state of being.

“Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps, then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.”

Rainer Maria Rilke

Wouldn’t it be great if we can live the questions into infinite answers.

Why am I here, now? Why are you?

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Randy Pausch (born October 23, 1960 – died July 25, 2008) was an American educator, a professor of computer science, human-computer interaction, and design at Carnegie Mellon University at (CMU) in Pittsburg, Pennsylvania.

Rabbi Yisroel (Israel) ben Eliezer (born circa 1700 – died 22 May 1760), often called Baal Shem Tov or Besht, was a Jewish mystical rabbi. He is considered to be the founder of Hasidic Judaism.

Rumi (born September 1207 – died 17 December 1273), was a 13th-century Persian poet, theologian and Sufi mystic. His influence transcends national borders and ethnic divisions: His poems have been widely translated into many of the world’s languages and transposed into various formats. Rumi has been described as the “most popular poet” and the “best selling poet” in the United States.