What Passover Can Teach Us About Life’s Journey 

The path isn’t a straight line; it is a spiral. We continually come back to the things we thought we understood and see deeper truths.

Life is a struggle, and the story of our lives is still being written. The Torah is a living document still being written, and the story of the Exodus is still being written. How? Through interpretations, questions and discussions. The upcoming holiday of Passover does not focus on the Exodus simply as a historical event that took place long ago. In the Haggadah, which means “telling” in Hebrew, a written guide to the Passover seder, which commemorates the Israelites’ Exodus from Egypt, the story is still being written. There is a proposition the Jewish people recite: One must look upon himself as if he himself had come out of Egypt, personally. To that I would add, not as a passive observer, but as an active participant.

So, life is struggle, and the story of Passover – how does that tie into the creation of the world story argument. Like making a good matzah ball soup, there are a few hints, tips and ideas from the ages, the sages as well as, the stages.

An answer, not the answer, is one of the topics that is elaborated on in this essay.  The creation story can be seen as a metaphor for life, contrasting God as the creator, with the important role played one’s parents. My contention is that seeing the creation story presented this way, as a metaphor, may act as an elixir to assist in lessening the struggle experienced by life that is ever present in society as a whole.

My contention may at this point halt anyone from reading further and that is completely  understandable. No one wants to be preached to or at about another way to reduce struggle, especially putting God or faith in the mix. So before deciding whether or not to keep reading, here are two questions to consider, and there will be more to ponder, just like at a participant-centric Passover seder. Is a person relegated to live life with little joy because of a fixed mindset? Is the potential for growth determined by how a person was raised by their parents? Interested in reading more? Read on.

If you have read this far, before I continue, I would be remiss to not mention the inspiration behind this essay. I owe a great deal of thanks to Jonah Simcha Chaim. He is licensed social worker in Canada. He draws inspiration from a variety of Jewish and secular sources and uses both to see the Godliness amidst the mundane. He is passionate about inspiring Jewish unity and helping others see how much they can achieve by realizing that they are part of something much larger than themselves.

Where to begin? As I have mentioned in previous essays written for this blog, I am interested in the intersection of psychology and the Hebrew Bible. Whether you are interested in Biblical studies or psychology, the blueprint offered for well-being that can be found in the ancient writings from millenniums ago are profound. In many ways, this essay depicts aspects of cultural psychology.

Getting to the heart of this essay, with its many arteries is Dr. Carol Dweck, a Professor of psychology at Stanford. She has studied mindsets and writes, researches and lectures on two opposing mindsets: one that is fixed and the other, a growth mindset. A fixed mindset focuses on one’s life in the present, accepts reality for what is – usually as the result of someone or something beyond one’s control. As its name suggests, this mentality gives into the idea that a person’s success is hereditarily-fixed. After all, one’s family culture is their first culture and has the most intense effect on who a person becomes and how they cope with life. They are who they are. It’s fixed. A growth mindset, in contrast, is future-driven and steeped in words like “yet,” “courage,” and “effort.” This mindset cultivates curiosity and creativity because it doesn’t measure success solely on what a person can observe right now or how others might measure that success. Everyone’s ideas of what success is and what it means to have succeeded are not necessarily the same. Family certainly has a pronounced effect on one’s beliefs. Consider the growth mindset contrasted with the fixed mindset.

Those who embody a growth mindset take risks because they understand that falling is an integral part of learning—they can rise stronger than they may ever have been able to if they had not learned how to pick themselves up again. Whereas a fixed mindset propels a person to seek the easier route and avoids challenging or uncomfortable experiences. The growth mindset drives a person to face their challenges head-on and, instead of feeling threatened by another’s successes, to learn from all those encountered along this adventure, called life.

How does one cultivate a growth mindset? A person needs to appreciate their here-and-now and be mindful of their current realities and the hosts of emotions they experience in the real world. What is true about the real world is that it does not have to define a person – regardless of how difficult, abusive, or traumatic those realities may have been and regardless of how convincing others may attempt to instill. A person’s growth mindset may have been established early in one’s life by their family. How? From having parents who raised their child to never give into challenges or to give up on their potential, as well as how great they could be despite everything and everyone who seemed to suggest otherwise. Parents who showed their children the choice was solely up to them – to see obstacles or to see opportunities. That begs the question: what if a child wasn’t raised that way? Stay with me. This is going to take an indirect, roundabout route. 

In general terms, in Judaism there are a set series of different holidays throughout the year. In the Oral Torah, made up of copious questions and sage wisdom, there is a discussion on whether the the world was created in the month of Nissan (the Hebrew month during when the festival of Passover is celebrated) or Tishrei, the High Holiday month? According to Torah, Nissan is month one, and Tishrei is the seventh month. In essence the question the sages argued: was the mission of life (the great before as it is called in the 2020 Pixar movie, Soul) completed on the day the world was born or is the beginning of the journey (the day we become aware that we are actually on a journey)? If you have never seen the Pixar movie, Soul, I highly recommend it. It will certainly provide context to what I am talking about here. This is the trailer. https://youtu.be/xOsLIiBStEs

It’s always easier to experience clarity, connectivity, and inspiration in life when the sun is shining brightly outside, and if one looks at the progression of these Hebrew months, one containing the introspective days of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur to the joyous days of Sukkot and Shemini Atzeret – it’s hard not to feel immensely inspired and energized.  That’s Tishrei. (The journey has begun!) For a more in depth list of the Jewish holidays, see the following link. https://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/calendar-of-major-jewish-holidays/

On the other hand, the month of Nissan is rooted in the lunar calendar and based on the moon’s inconsistent waxing and waning. Without a doubt, the Exodus from Egypt was nothing short of miraculous and inspiring, and in many ways, those elated feelings were short-lived. The Sages explain that although God liberated the Israelites from the geographical confines of slavery, they had not yet managed to shake off the mental shackles of oppression. The Israelites were embarking on a journey into a barren desert towards the Promised Land, which was sure to be fraught with challenges. The correct path wouldn’t always be as clear. Indeed, the idea was God would be guiding the Israelites, but would they always sense God’s presence? Parents, generally speaking, cannot promise that their children will not experience struggle, and leaving the nest, not having parents around, developing through adolescence, and life’s other transitions can only be prepared for so much. The lessons of adulthood are not lost on young people as they age, even if they are aware of how they had been socialized and in many cases they are not fully aware.

But, I digress. So which is it? How is one to reconcile the born-on date of Tishrei (Rosh Hashanah) or the journey onward, go west young person of Nissan (Passover). Is that important to know to lessen life’s struggles? One way is to think of them in terms of one’s growth across the lifespan – when we are born, whether or not we have a growth mindset, or one that is fixed? 

In a very real way, we can relate the experiences of the Exodus from Egypt to a birthing process, and the Israelites years of wandering the desert as emergence to the maturity that takes place through the ups and downs of adolescence, as a person learns to navigate those years of development and identity formation. Over time, the person decides who they want to be, and ultimately strive to reach “their” Promised Land.

The Mystics teach that these seemingly different viewpoints are truthfully a singular process. While God may have brought the finite universe into existence during the month of Tishrei, in Nissan He began dreaming of that reality and planning how to transform it from abstraction into actuality. When one is born, there are no guarantees that life will be easy or successful, it is a relatively blank canvas, an invitation to begin painting their life. As a person discovers more about themself and their and abilities, they begin to develop.

If one has a growth mindset, as opposed to a fixed mindset the journey may look different. A growth mindset doesn’t deny who a person is and the realities in which they live. Instead of submitting to a given reality, a growth mindset empowers the individual to find the good points and tiny moments of success embedded within the beautiful chaos called life. While the clarity of the month of Tishrei begins the birthing process, it is the month of Nissan which brings the determination to take the first step in that journey. When a person can tap into the depths of a growth mindset, they empower themself to embrace whatever life throws their way. They appreciate the journey and the thrill of overcoming their perceived obstacles more than reaching their perceived destination. In life, greatness isn’t based solely on the finished product,although for some that may be the definition.

People are the story they tell themself about themselves. If they give into their “diagnosis” (which, by definition is ironically someone else’s judgement about them and their condition), or they give in to the story others authored (based on who they think we should be or  become or what we can or cannot achieve within that narrative), the person ends up giving up on themselves. If one sees God as their creator, in addition to their parents, one can see it was God, the creator, and perhaps parent are the co-creators, who bestowed upon them to be able to conquer today, in a week, next year, and many years into the future. 

When parents empower their children to look for opportunities instead of obstacles, equally and metaphorically, when God empowers His children to look for opportunities instead of obstacles, they are able to grow beyond their diagnosis and creatively see potential even when it is not evident on the surface. And in so doing, a person is able to succeed far beyond the expectations of their medical team (or society). A growth mindset can teach a person to have a brighter future, one that allows them to jump  over the hurdles. Tomorrow can be brighter than whatever today’s apparent darkness might be or appear to be – and that, surprisingly simply, lies solely in one’s mind.

Okay, you may be saying to yourself, I have gotten this far. I hear what you are saying. I want to have that growth mindset and my parents or whoever didn’t give it to me. So, if I consider the influence my parents had or have and consider God, as well, will the journey be easier? 

Just a short detour and somewhat applicable because it ties God and Parents together. The original intent was godparent(s) were the person or persons who pledged to help with the upbringing of a child, especially in a religious way. Godparents are often related to their godchildren (an aunt might be her nephew’s godmother, for example), but they don’t need to be. Godparents also often pledge to become the godchild’s guardian if needed (in the event that the child’s parents die). Outside a religious context—parents may choose close relatives or friends to act as godparents for their children. A godparent can still refer to their godchild with that term even after the child becomes an adult.

Back to the question and by way of focusing, after the circuitous route of this essay, will faith in God, or having a growth mindset make the journey easier, and reduce the struggles? 

Well, the journey may not be necessarily easier. The journey ahead may be stressful, or confusing, or difficult. For some it may be far from easy. A person who did not initially get that growth mindset in their childhood, and this into adulthood, or perhaps through an event that was out of their control, will probably slip more than once. They will likely have or want to give up more than a time or two along the way. And you have heard this time and time again. This does not mean that the story needs to end just because the going gets tough.No one is saying not to deny one’s current reality and the multitude of difficult moments they might be or really are facing, and having a growth mindset allows one to cultivate a vision that stretches far beyond the confines of a person’s present reality.

Certainly one can or will say that this whole idea of a growth mindset is unrealistic or impractical. There is an art to a growth mindset. What do I mean by an art? With art, sometimes there is a need need to break the rules, color outside the lines, use different mediums, choose different expectations. If a person is going to create a life, according to one’s own narratives and abilities, being a nonconformist at times may be necessary. More often than not, those who transformed the world had the courage to break the mold and stand on one edge of the river while everyone else stood on the other. No one ever said the journey was going to be easy. 

Passover, in the Jewish religion, is far from a celebration of what is known. Knowledge can only reach so far.  The story of Passover, the retelling of the narrative of the Israelites miraculous exodus from Egypt year after year, despite how many times it has already been read, regardless of many of its lessons and insights have been previously studied still begs more questions. For some, it is a holiday that celebrates an endless flow of questions and curious activities. It is those years of development in which the Israelites were courageous enough to rebel against the life others laid out for them and to make the decision to succeed against all odds.

A person’s journey, their long walk to freedom, might metaphorically have begun once they left their own recognizable bondage or a bondage they may not be aware of – that was or could be their personal Egypt.  The Israelites, despite not knowing which exact path to take and how their understandings at that point would ultimately materialize. Every person will cross the finish line at their own pace and against their own clock. Believing that God did not redeem the Israelites from Egypt so that the might settle for the baseline normative that was set for them required them to dare to dream. The thing about life is that a person can chose to be all in no matter what they do. This life has a beginning and an end. Why not be aware of the struggle, it’s real. The choice to play the best game a person can while they are waiting for the clock to run out, for the the sole purpose of not having anything better to do. Or, is there something else. Told you, lots of questions. And really, the plays that a person makes might surprise them along the journey.